We have all seen the movies and all silently thought to ourselves that it was about time she woke up. You know the one that the guy hangs around the girl he’s in love with in the hopes that their friendship will turn into something more. She ignored him throughout three quarters of the movie and then when her heart is broken over some jerk she runs back to her best friend and changes the dynamics of the relationship. Yeah, it was about time she woke up. But what about him? How long did he hang around, waiting for her to notice him?
Real life doesn’t play out like that. Real life isn’t written by someone with commercial interests and thus real life is more likely to slap you with some pretty interesting alternatives. Hanging through the long-winded complaints about how wrong he has treated her and watching her endlessly return to him can be frustrating at best. Why are you doing it? You aren’t all that likely to get the goodies by being a faithful companion. If that’s what she needs, then she needs a pet, not you.
There are plenty of guys who literally place their lives on hold for years while the woman they want passes them over time and time again, appreciating their friendship but never really looking at them as potential for anything more. When a woman first meets a guy she does instinctively know within the first minute or two which category she is filing him into. If you end up filed away in the friendship file, forget it, as you will be stuck there forever.
Moving on is not always easy, especially if you have been secretly pining over a woman for years. First of all, stop the secrecy. If you are interested in being more than that handy friend that picks up the pieces and cleans up the messes, then just be upfront about it. If she goes into the routine of how much she loves you, as a friend and nothing more then why on earth are you hanging around. Do you really believe that she will one day wake up and realize that she needs you or are you delusional when it comes to the power you think you have. How exactly are you going to make her want you?
There really is nothing wrong with maintaining friendships with the opposite sex if that is something that you want. However, when and if you start harboring feelings for her and you keep it a secret, you are not really being fair to either one of you. First of all, she is going to treat you differently than she would treat someone she was sexually or romantically interested in. She is going to unknowingly send you signals that you are going to mistake as interest, because that is what you want to believe. She is going to let her guard down, which means she is going to end up feeling betrayed. The situation is only going to go downhill from there. After all, she really believes that you are her friend.
Confessing to a "friend" that you are developing an attraction is a risk, but "man up" and get it over with. The longer you wait, the longer you are putting your life on hold, the longer you are being in-genuine with you and her, and the longer you are developing sexual fantasies that are less likely to come true the longer you wait. If she isn’t interested in you, and you hang around being her faithful little pet, the more likely it is that you will find yourself being used. You will become her handyman, her shoulder to cry on, possibly her loan department, and everything in her life is all about you. Why demean yourself like that when there are plenty of women out there who can recognize that you are all you’re cracked up to be and would be happy to make you happy?
Women have a way of knowing when they have the upper hand and many of them aren’t afraid to use it. This leaves a guy hurting pretty bad when he finally wakes up to the realization that he has been used. You have the power to get out of those types of situations and you have the power to refuse to be manipulated like that. If you’re going to choose to play the game, you’re going to have to deal with the consequences. It’s really that simple.
So, how do you get yourself out of it? You have figured it out, you have confessed, and she has turned you down. So now where do you go? It’s really a function of simply moving on. Thank her, or not, for her friendship while it was good, tell her that you aren’t interested in being just friends and so you will have to remove yourself from the relationship. She might think this is weak, but then she isn’t the one fighting off her emotions every time she’s around you. The sooner you get back on the horse, the better. Go out, talk to women, find someone to casually date or just hang out with the guys for awhile. But change the behaviors that kept you running back at her beck and call and move on accordingly. It might sting at first, but over time you will see how cool it is to break out of a one-way relationship.
About Me
Allah's gift
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Lover? Friend? But not both...
Aku la bah ni Dheeya NF at 3:04 AM 0 comments
This thing never will end...
I wanted to stop blogging since i have this feelings of betrayed by people that love to blog and spreading rumors or betray their friends by selling their friend's secrets by blogs. Do u think this things will end when u just telling everyone your friend's behavior or secret inside your blog?
Aku la bah ni Dheeya NF at 2:23 AM 0 comments
Monday, August 16, 2010
Dear beloved friends....
If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me..
Aku la bah ni Dheeya NF at 4:18 PM 0 comments
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Date with a fat girl?
You can probably think of few reasons to date a fat girl, but let’s get to the real reasons. Dating a fat girl can be the best way to meet the right person in your life. Reasons to date a fat girl are many, but we’ll concentrate on the ones that will help you make the right decision.
- Fat girls are fun and easy to talk to. Fat girls are usually more concerned with their brains than their looks. This means you can never be bored around a fat girl. They always have interesting stories, and they wont care what they look like rolling down a hill, going on the ferris wheel, or posing for funny pictures with you. Fat girls have fun everywhere they go.
- Never Go Hungry. Do you really like Ethiopian food? If you do, you probably won’t find a fat girl there. They may be up for trying the fare though since they are generally interested in trying any food once. Fat girls love it all! They’ll try that Thai food restaurant you’ve wanted to go to. Anything that tastes good is on their menu.
- Lose Weight with Your Girl. Fat girls love to do things with other people. While a thin girl may keep up her appearance, she usually has a pretty set program for working out. A fat girl is up for anything as long as she can spend time with you. Fat girls will be more readily willing to go for a bike ride, skating, or working out at the gym.
- Enjoy Nature with Your Girl. Fat girls are more willing to be out in nature than skinny girls. Some skinny girls prefer to shop and are more involved with their outfit than paying attention to nature’s beauty. Fat girls will be up for a hike any day of the week.
- No Jealousy. Many other guys may look at your fat girl, but not too many will hit on her. Thin girls get hit on all the time. You never have to worry about your fat girl getting picked up by another man.
- Gain Her Trust, Gain Her Love. Gaining a fat girl’s trust is easy if you are a good man already. All you have to do is be yourself. That’s all she expects. You don’t have to put on any fronts or even pick her up with some corny pickup line. Fat girls will like you for you. All you have to do is be yourself and gain her trust.
- Take Her Anywhere. Fat girls are up for anything, remember? She will go anywhere you ask her. Take her on an exotic location and you will have nothing but fun. No complaints or long hours of her in the bathroom getting ready. A fat girl is excited to get to go to the beach or wherever you want to take her.
- Not Wishy-Washy. If you need an opinion about something, ask a fat girl. Fat girls have dedicated their time to their minds, not their bodies. They know almost everything or will find out for you what you need to know. If you like talking and like being around opinionated people who see differing sides on things, date a fat girl.
- Laugh it Up. Fat girls love a laugh. If your past skinny girlfriends didn’t get your humor, try a fat girl. They usually will find you funny and appreciate a laugh. Since they aren’t concerned about themselves as much as skinny girls, they are more open to laughing with your jokes.
Aku la bah ni Dheeya NF at 12:43 AM 0 comments
Telling the truth...
As i have few adopted cousin, I like to read about adopted thing. I wondered when and how my aunts will manage to tell them the truth. Their presence are miracle in our family.Opening your heart and your home to an adopted child is an exciting and wonderful experience. Although people adopt a child for different reasons, the purpose is the same: to give a special child the care, love and attention he or she will otherwise not receive from his own family. But then when the time comes for the child to learn more about himself and his history, most adoptive parents become confused and uncertain. When do they tell and how? Better yet, should they?
Aku la bah ni Dheeya NF at 12:30 AM 0 comments
ADOPTED STORIES...
Aku la bah ni Dheeya NF at 12:20 AM 0 comments
First impression
Do you know that first impression might turn your life in a minute. But how to make a good first impression? These give you a head to start making a good first impression. ^_^
Step 1: Make an entrance
Take a few moments before you walk in to a room and realign your posture. Bring your shoulders back and down and put a smile on your face. Scan the room and look around as this will make you look a lot more positive and thus creates a good first impression.
Step 2: Your handshake
Make sure you give a good, cool and firm handshake. Look the person in the eye and remember to smile at them.
Step 3: Posture
Practice sitting down in front of a mirror, in the outfit you will be wearing, to see what is going to work and what isn't. Sit well in the chair as this will make you look more confident. Rest your elbows on the arm of the chair and maybe cross your legs.
Step 4: Hand gestures
Make sure you don't use barriers such as folding your arms as this will make you look too closed. Use nice open gestures and good emphatic gestures when you speak, and make sure you keep your hands below shoulder height.
Step 5: Mirroring
Use mirroring to create fast-track rapport. This is achieved by slightly copying the interviewer's body language which will help you come across as more approachable.
But if you give a bad first expression, there are few ways for you to bounce back from it. Just chill la babe and do this steps! ^_^
Step 1: Don't beat yourself up
It's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and says things they wish they hadn't. Don't magnify the situation in your head. Most people will give you a chance to redeem yourself and show them the person you really are. We'll show you how.
Step 2: The failed joke
It sounded hilarious in your head - but for some reason no-one else seems to agree.
The failed joke might seem like social suicide, but it is redeemable. The simple trick here is to not let it bother you. It is important to recognise that your joke was not funny. If a mirthless silence descends, close it with a self-debasing phrase such as "It sounded funny in my head"; or "Wow, that wasn't funny at all". Then quickly move on to something else. Don't let a tumbleweed moment linger.
Don't try too hard to make up for it and convince people you really are funny.
Instead, relax, keep quiet and wait a while before trying to make another crack. In a very short space of time, people will completely forget your failed joke and their impression of you will be formed on who you are rather than what you said.
Step 3: Inadvertent offence
It may be that your well-intentioned comment has done more than fail; it may even have offended a new acquaintance.
If this is the case there are several steps you can follow to bounce back.
Step 4: Stop digging
At the moment the words have left your mouth, the damage is done. A common mistake is to immediately try and justify what's been said.
This invariably results in creating even more of a problem for yourself. Don't dig your way into a giant hole of social disapproval.
Instead, once you've realised your mistake, stop. Apologise immediately and sincerely. But keep it brief and then move on. Walk away, talk to someone else, or offer to get a drink.
Step 5: Give them space
Accept that you have offended that person, and hounding them for the rest of the evening isn't going to earn you a place in their good books.
Leave them alone, and get to know some other people.
After a suitable period - towards the end of the party, for example - approach them again.
This time, speak to them one-to-one. Don't try to over-explain anything, but offer a sincere and considered apology for your thoughtless comment.Hopefully your sincere apology will have convinced the offended party that you aren't a horrible person, and in future they will be willing to give you a second chance.
Aku la bah ni Dheeya NF at 12:03 AM 0 comments
Friday, August 13, 2010
A good listener
Do You Know What To Look For?
Aku la bah ni Dheeya NF at 11:12 PM 0 comments